Toxic Perfectionism 101: How to Overcome Being a Perfectionist

We all know, perfectionism is a personality trait where one strives for perfection by setting high standards for himself in whatever he does.

As it allows oneself to produce high-quality work, it is not a negative trait. However, sometimes extreme perfectionism can become toxic.

So, how does it become toxic? Let's start with the basics.

CONTENTS

What is toxic perfectionism
Is perfectionism a disorder
What causes perfectionism
How to overcome toxic perfectionism

What is Toxic Perfectionism

Perfectionism becomes toxic when a person begins to push himself to achieve high standards of work at the cost of his health (could be both physical & mental) and relationships.

This is the point at which a person's self-worth is measured by meeting perfectionistic criteria. It could be related to academics, work performance, social life, or even appearance.

Is Perfectionism a Disorder

Perfectionism is not exactly a disorder. But it is regarded as a common factor in most mental illnesses such as OCD, OCPD, anxiety, eating disorders, etc.

What Causes Perfectionism

Perfectionism is triggered by a mixture of factors, including parental expectations, low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy, and so on. It can, however, be self-imposed.

If you could somehow relate to any of these, you might already be a toxic perfectionist.

As a recovering perfectionist, I understand how toxic perfectionism can interfere with your mind without you even realizing it.

Now, after years of suffering, I've finally discovered a healthy approach to address and deal with it.

So, let's get to know some toxic perfectionism symptoms and how to overcome them.

How to Overcome Perfectionism

Here are 11 major toxic perfectionism symptoms followed by some tips to help you overcome toxic perfectionism and deal with being a perfectionist:

1.

You are frequently dissatisfied with your outcomes and never feel as though you are doing enough.

Instead of moaning, you must take pride in all of your accomplishments and rejoice in every small victory. Give yourself credit for all of your efforts, no matter how perfect or flawed. After all, it is your hard work!

2.

You procrastinate and wait for the perfect moment to complete tasks to achieve the best possible outcome. This eventually results in a waste of time. Thus, work is hampered and projects are not delivered on schedule.

As a matter of fact, you must have a clearer idea about the causes of procrastination and how to overcome it productively. It will help you in concentrating on taking action rather than waiting for the perfect moment.

“Done is better than perfect.”

— Sheryl Sandberg

3.

When you receive negative feedback, you get offended. You don't want others to bring out your flaws, so you dodge criticism and try to stay within your comfort zone.

So rather than being fearful of negative criticism, learn to appreciate it. Any feedback, good or bad, will only serve to help you test and improve your work. So keep in mind that receiving negative feedback isn't necessarily a bad thing.

4.

In every part of your life, you feel constantly burdened with stress. Furthermore, it causes you to worry over tiny things that have no impact on the bigger picture.

So, instead of getting stuck in the details, concentrate on the broad picture.

5.

You put your health and well-being on the back burner to pursue professional success.

Instead, you must adopt a healthy attitude and engage in self-care practices. It will also help you in improving your personal productivity.

6.

You always require extra time to complete a project and are constantly missing deadlines. This, however, has an impact on your overall productivity.

So, rather than stressing over producing spotless work, you should concentrate on finishing the task to proceed to another. (Even if it's imperfect) Later on, you'll get more chances to improve it.

7.

You feel burdened with guilt for past mistakes and, as a result, engage in negative self-talk.

The solution is to adopt positive lifestyle habits and practice positive self-talk. Also, learn to forgive yourself for past mistakes, or else your present will suffer.

8.

Being a perfectionist makes it hard to trust others with your work, so you end up doing everything on your own.

(Reminds me of myself. But, please, do not be like me!)

Remember that you are not superhuman, and there is nothing wrong with trying to get help. So, whenever you feel overworked, always ask for help from others.

9.

You fail to make time for loved ones and have relationship issues.

So, rather than making excuses, manage your daily schedule so that you can make time for your loved ones. It will help you in taking care of your emotional health as well as maintaining healthy relationships.

10.

You see things in black and white, which is problematic since it promotes an all-or-nothing perspective. It prevents you from exploring alternative solutions to a problem or scenario.

So, just remember that not everything has to be in black or white; there are shades of grey as well.

11.

You try to hide your flaws to avoid being viewed as imperfect. For you, being imperfect means being weak or not good enough, which is why you tend to conceal aspects of yourself that make you appear imperfect.

Is it, however, helping you?

Instead, learn to value and love yourself just as you are. Since nothing is perfect, give yourself credit for trying your hardest. You may be able to complete one task flawlessly while struggling to complete another. And that's perfectly OK.

“In the end, perfection is just a concept - an impossibility we use to torture ourselves and that contradicts nature.”

— Guillermo del Toro

I hope this post has given you some ideas for overcoming toxic perfectionism as per your concerns. So, identify what bothers you and tackle it accordingly.

Here are some more helpful resources: